A mothers love

            Slam! I would slam that door as hard as I could after vicious screaming matches with my mom or dad.  Though I’m not sure I should call it a “match,” I was the one doing all the screaming. I would pace back and forth in my room absolutely livid, grumbling about how unfair, cruel and heartless my parents were.  Why did I have to be home before 12am? Why do I have to get good grades and take AP classes? C’s are good enough. Why shouldn’t I be able to date a 23 year old when I’m 16?  If I want to pierce my belly-button, nose, eyebrow, and ears two more times why can’t I!? Aww the terrible teens, so much fun. But while pacing back and forth my mother would always do something which confused me back then, but I understand now.  She would sing. While I would be pacing angrily back and forth in my room, my angry thoughts would be continually interrupted by, Amazing Grace, “You’ve got a Friend,” by Carol King, or one of the many other songs my mother sings. At first I would swing open my door and scream “Could you stop that!” but after awhile her singing would have another effect.  After a few minutes, the tears would dry in salty streaks on my cheeks and the pacing was replaced with being curled up in a ball on the bed. Eventually I could no longer concentrate on what malicious tyrants my parents were and my mind would calmly wander as I listened to the soothing sound of my mother’s voice.  She would sing to comfort me, and probably herself too, (I was a nasty little teen).  Eventually the hate and anger that had invaded and taken over my mind was melted away. The flowing melody would peel back the angry feelings, and emotions. The peaceful words would guide my mind back to a more sane, stable place.   For the character Elizabeth, in the novel A Question of Power, by Bessie Head, sources of comfort and stability really did help Elizabeth regain her sanity.

            However bad my teens were, I cannot begin to compare my tantrums to what Elizabeth goes through when she suffers a mental breakdown. For four years she suffers from hallucinations at night and is eventually hospitalized. Just as it seemed like she was about to recover Elizabeth would slip back into insanity.  But luckily for Elizabeth she had a few very important sources of comfort and stability that helped her regain her sanity. Tom, Kenosi and the garden.

            Tom was a very important character to Elizabeth. Tom offered unconditional friendship to Elizabeth even when Elizabeth turned him away. When Elizabeth was hospitalized she told Tom she never wanted to see him again. But as soon as she was released Tom came to see her. Tom would have deep talks with Elizabeth. Tom and Elizabeth would have dinner together where they would have deep conversations, and Elizabeth was finally able to talk to someone she could trust, and she was finally able to talk about her hallucinations. Tom’s unconditional friendship gave Elizabeth comfort and hope. “You’ll be alright soon. You’ll find a day when everything looks fine (189).” Tom says these words to offer comfort and hope to Elizabeth while she struggles with her sanity.  Tom is the companionship and comfort Elizabeth needs to regain her sanity. Another source of comfort and friendship is Kenosi.

            Elizabeth met Kenosi when she began working in garden for the farmer’s youth development work group. Kenosi eventually gave up her wool work to work with Elizabeth in the garden. Kenosi was another pivotal source of comfort and hope for Elizabeth. The work they did together motivated Elizabeth. Kenosi looked up to Elizabeth and they took pride in their work. Kenosi is a pivotal character in bringing Elizabeth back to sanity because Kenosi represents Elizabeth’s responsibility and productivity, and Kenosi is a continual reminder of the real world. “The way this woman brought her back to life and reality (142!)!”  But Tom and Kenosi alone are not what brought Elizabeth back to sanity.

             Elizabeth’s work in the garden was a crucial part of her recovery. Like my mothers singing the garden was a source of relief for Elizabeth. The work gave her something to focus on that would numb her mind and interrupt her hallucinations.  The work helped her interact with people and gave her something to be proud of.  Elizabeth and Kenosi eventually gain a reputation for the gooseberry they grow and are the only ones that can grow it. Elizabeth eventually gains the name “Cape Goosberry,” because she is the only one who can grow it. The garden gave Elizabeth purpose. “That morning as she walked down the rough shady roads to the vegetable gardens, seemed to Elizabeth to be the greatest adventure she was to ever undertake (72).”

            When suffering from insanity, or a broken down state of mind, the positive influences in life become the most important things one has. For Elizabeth these positive influences saved her life.  Tom and Kenosi offered comfort and support. The garden gave Elizabeth relief and distracted her from her hallucinations keeping her grounded in reality. The comfort and companionship offered to Elizabeth by Tom, helped to soothe and heal her sick mind. Kenosi distracted and interrupted Elizabeth’s demons, by keeping her focused on the garden. The garden offered relief and gave Elizabeth purpose, and human interaction.

 Now in the real world, I often wish I had my mother there to comfort me. Life is a far cry these days from those terrible teens. But reading this book only reiterates the fact that friends,’ family, and the positive influences in life, are some of the most important things a person has. These positive influences are sources of strength, comforting and hope. Friendship, family ties and human interactions are the fiber of life, the staple of our emotional and mental diet. So in hindsight I do feel kind of bad for yelling at my parents, and being the little brat I was. And I am thankful for their wisdom, (though I swore I would never admit it), and especially their comfort. Carol King was right; Winter, spring, summer or fall, I’ve got a friend.